#ACOAUG2017 through my eyes 

So as a blogger, i was privileged to attend the ACOA one week conference that took place in the Speke Resort Munyonyo. It is true that in life we are paid in 2 coins, monetarily and in experience. I would be telling lies if I didn’t  tell you how overwhelming the experience was. The hotel was flooded with an assortment of individuals from allover the world, sumptuous three course meals on standby, many presenters to entertain delegates (ndeere Troupe, Sheeba, chameleon, etc), various dinners & cocktails but my highlight was the guest speakers, my favorite being Hon Miria Matembe and Prof. P.L.O. Lumumba.

Hon Miria Matembe spoke passionately about empowering women for economic growth in Africa by freeing her from the chains of religious misinterpretation, ignorance, poverty, traditional customs, inadequate and discrimination laws. She said we need to strengthen women Agencies & voices, grass root mobilization of women and continuous engagement is also vital to the achievement of economic development in Africa. There is no way on earth that you can listen to this lady speak about feminism and not feel compelled to do something/anything in your own capacity to eliminate the gender imbalance in Africa. She used the image below to illustrate her message. 

The other speaker that moved me immensely was Prof. P.L.O Lumumba, an orator and professor, founding Dean, Kabarak University School of Law. He talked about how there is no current African president who is a crusader for African freedom & unity like Nelson Mandela, Nkwame Nkuruma & Julius Nyerere were doing.”what have we done with our independence remains the biggest question in all African states?” because if civilisation can’t feed its people and treat its people then that civilisation is doomed. It’s a shame that African presidents don’t seek medication in their own countries because they don’t trust the health systems yet they have the capacity to change them. Delloite, KMPG & PWC have taken over Africa, but have you ever heard of any prominent Accounting firm called Zuma & Zuma in New York perhaps? Ask yourself why. Don’t be fooled by them making Africans “partners” in these firms, there is power in a name, that’s why when the lead character of kunta kinte was taken from Ghana, he was named Toby to strip him of his identity & sense of belonging. Why are Africans looking for paper certificates from Europe yet they bear no actual relevance to African economy as concepts taught were not tailored to suit us in the first place. African governments should protect local products so as to enable them reach their full potential. Agenda 2063 is for Africa & for her to succeed, she needs a number of fundamentals like political hygiene. Prof Lumumba talked about how regional blocks like SADAK, EAC can be used as engines for development in Africa. Qualifications should also be standardized in Africa so as to facilitate mobility of labor with in Africa. There is so much Africa can achieve when we put our minds to it, he said, he preached. 

The situation is nolonger as bad as it used to be because our forefathers paved way us to get here so it’s only obligatory for us to continue the race. It is by rubbing shoulders with such figures of influence that their overflowing knowledge on so many aspects finds its way us, the younger generation. When they start speaking, nothing else matters, I wanted them to go and on and on because I could relate to all topics raised. Am deeply thankful to ICPAU for the amazing opportunity and from the outside, I know accountancy may look abit rigid & unrelated but deep down we all face the same challenges as professions in Africa with the same basic solutions as put forward by my two favourite speakers and others at the event. It’s important for Africa to unite because we are capable of self sustainance,growth & development.
“It can be done, it must be done, because if it’s not done, we are done” ~ Prof P.L.O Lumumba. 

Advertisements

Take me back……

I saw a young couple today.. They were holding hands and happily taking a stroll oblivious of the scorching sun and dust on the streets of Kampala. In a way, they reminded me of myself… A version of myself which was now but a distant faint memory. For holding hands in public could be likened to a declaration of your unashamed love for eachother. It was all reminiscent of those long walks in the park, the late night phone calls when warid pakalast was only 1,000shs for the whole day and when mtn zone was 99%..  When we would both fall asleep on phone because neither of us wanted to hang up first.. They reminded me of a time that love was about writing letters on writing pads/matching envelopes with song dedications… When love was nothing but delicate, innocent and beautiful. When a hug felt like a kiss and when i’d need the strength of Samson to let go of him when he hugged me.. They reminded me of the functions in school, when I would barely sleep because of the excitement of seeing him come out of that SMACK bus the next day and there, right there for a moment nothing else mattered. They reminded me of our coaching and Bible study classes that i eagerly looked forward to because it was also an opportunity to see him.. They reminded me of how we would read novels then swap and talk about them like we were the characters in the books themselves. When we discussed what we wanted to become in future. When we saw so much potential in eachother and encouraged it.

Take me back please. To the time when love wasn’t about what the eyes saw but what the heart felt. When one would be more than content with just one companion. When the SI unit for love wasn’t the presents one got you but rather how much they paid attention to who you really were… When it didn’t matter what phone one had or the car one drove or even what kind of family he was from.. When love was an affair of souls. Beyond appearance, when love was respectful and patient. The kind of love talked about in 1Cor 13. When the most admirable qualities about him were his ability to lead like David, his faithfulness like Job, his loyalty like Mesach, Sedrack and Abednego….his patience like Father Abraham and his unconditional love like Christ himself. Take me back… Take me back already. 
 “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.”

Sexual hypocrisy 

Nowhere on Ugandan soil should comprehensive sexuality education be taught,  Janat Mukwaya the minister of gender announced. Well, much as am always eager to get to the economic and entertainment news column in any newspaper, I couldn’t ignore the beginning of this article because it appealed to me as a future parent and so out of curiosity to find out their basis of this ban, I read on. There were no policies, guidelines or framework on sexual education hence the likely danger of having the training infiltrate dangerous vices that are inconsistent with national values, norms and morality, the minister argued on.

So in actual fact the government banned sexual education and in my perspective, they have failed to supervise how it is being administered schools.

You can’t ban something because it’s not being done the right way but rather, you ought to get back to the drawing board and ask yourselves “where did we go wrong?, what can we do about these obstacles and still achieve the intended purpose of this initiative?, “who is responsible for the negative turn of events?, what can we do so that this doesn’t happen again?”I believe this is how amends are made. In Economics, after a project is fully completed and is functional, there is a stage called monitoring and evaluation. The importance of this stage is to ensure that the project is still in course with it’s initial intended goals.. And efforts are made to get back on the right track. It’s not something that is done once or twice or thrice but rather regularly from time to time because it’s very essential. Efforts are also made to rectify what could have gone wrong along the way and measures are taken to ensure that these obstacles never come up again. Anyway,  enough with the economics but I hope you get the point am trying to drive home here.No? Avoidance has never solved anything, it’s just procrastination of the real problem. 

Actually am not usually one to point fingers but hey, in all fairness, since the parliament reached this decision as a result of the Green Hill Academy incident,  I think it’s only just that the name pops up here..the ethnics and intergrity minister father Simon Lokodo Said he visited the school on Aug 10th after information that it’s library had illegal books.  When MPs probed and scrutinised the library cards, “Girls in love”, was the most borrowed book. Other books with sex were “A Kiss Like this”, “Girl Power”, “In the night Garden”,”Juliet the valentine fairytale” etc…. Green Hill Academy is a private school, and since homosexuality is a crime in Uganda, the school should have been held individually accountable for its shortcomings just as businesses that evade taxes are penalised because in all fairness, other institutions have not been found to face the same intergrity issues. 

Times have changed, children nowadays are more exposed to all kinds of information especially from the internet and surely not all information put up on the Internet is correct, it is therefore very important for children to be taught what is right early enough because either way, they will soon get to know about these things one way or the other. Not teaching them only means they are bound to face problems all out of sheer ignorance. Knowledge is power, it’s essential to know all that you possibly can about any topic in life because in so doing, you can make informed decisions. 

Not telling them about protected sex only means that during their amateur experimentation, early pregnancies, STDs, abortions, dropping out of school are all likely outcomes. Young girls need to know about menstruation and thus he ready for it, the boys too need to be educated about periods to prevent stigmatisation of girls who could accidentally stain their uniforms as a result of Menstruation. In all, it’s therefore relevant for adolescents to understand their bodies and thus expect changes. Attraction to the opposite sex too should be discussed and how to go about it in all safety. All this helps to avoid self esteem and efficacy issues, bring about confidence and healthy state of mind among the teenagers.

Sexuality education is fundamentally key.(These things  are real). Parents need to have the talk with their children,  the schools too need to teach it because the children NEED TO KNOW!.

Reach A Hand commissioned the conducting of a poll in partnership with Trac. FM. The objective was to find out who is responsible for teaching sexuality education and the results are as shown below

This is enough to acknowledge that the public sees the need for this education and it should mean something to the government. After all, the government is meant to be democratic and democracy is the rule by the wish of the majority…. 

#IGDUg16

When she called me that afternoon, i didn’t pick up as usual.. yeah unfortunatey I have this bad habit of not picking up calls even if am idle.. I always wonde is so important that people can’t text and that they would rather call.. And also, i thought it was about plot for the night so i knew i would get back to her in the evening. But she kept calling and i had to pick you because it was becoming irritating..  “Hey Angie..” I casually said… “Please come to my room my dear, it’s very important.. Please..” She replied.. I could hear the desperation and panic in her voice so i knew it was urgent.. So i immediately paused my series (scandal) and jumped on a speeding jaj to her hostel.. On my way there, thoughts flooded in my mind. Could she have been dumped, has she lost a parent, was she robbed, why did she call me out of everyone in her phone book… I wondered oblivious of all that was happening around me.. 

On getting to her room, she was seated on the floor staring into empty space with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.. “My life is over…” She mumbled softly…. And before i could ask for details… she proceeded to narrate the cause of this sorrow..

image

But let me not leap ahead of the story.. Allow me give you a prologue about this friend of mine Angie.. Her boyfriend (Sean) and her are popularly known amongst peers for their abstinence.. They seek such great pride in telling anyone with ears about their decision to wait till marriage because the body is the temple of the holy spirit and they couldn’t disrespect it like that.. They also constantly discouraged their friends from fornicating least they miss out on the Kingdom of heaven.. They had been dating for as long as i can remember… Actually no one ever talked about sex around them least they be lectured for hours..

So back to Angie’s room..” Me and Sean finally did it last night…” She whispered amidst her sobs.. As if ashamed that the gods of her ancestors could hear her… Too embarrassed to look me in the eye perhaps because of the high moral standards she had set for herself.. Was the experience that terrible, i thought to myself.. And before i could respond to her statement/ confession, she continued .. “The experience itself was ok..i was in my safe days so we saw no need for protection… Sean had an early morning lecture so i stayed in his bed till about 9:00am when i got up and starting cleaning up and organising his things.. You can imagine the utter shock when I landed on his HIV results besides his ARV bottle at the bottom of his closet.. I didn’t know what to do.. So i left them there and headed to my room where i called you.. I know that it’s too late i don’t even know where to start from.. We had never taken an HIV test together because we didn’t plan on having sex and because i know Sean.. We have been together long. Surely Sean didn’t ever look sick.. She tried to justify to herself..

Standing there very puzzled with both hands on my head and calculating my next move carefully.. My knees felt weak.. I found myself sitting on the floor next to her in deafening silence.. And that’s when it all came back to me.. “Your life isn’t finished Angie.. Have you ever heard of PEP?” I anxiously asked her.. “No.. What is that.. ?!” I could hear the slight hope in her voice …. It stands for pro-expoure prohylluxis.. It’s a drug that can be administered to one 72hours after one has been exposed to HIV… I tried to explain as the concept was familiar to me since my sister is a health worker.. We can access it at Reproductive Health Uganda in Kamwokya almost opposite GTBank. Let’s take a jaj there… I pressed on.

We got to the facility and a peer educator was immediately availed to Angie. I remained outside the room keeping my fingers crossed for her.. Tests were run and afew procedures then she was given PEP free of charge and told to report back to the facility after 2 weeks for more check ups.. Those 2 weeks were the hardest she ever went through.. Some days she was too weak to go to class or go downstairs to buy food or even take a bath to so you can imagine yours truly was doing such.. 2weeks later i again escorted her for the tests at the facility and she was found HIV negative and I have never seen someone more grateful to have a second chance in my life.. As for Sean.. He later apologised and the 2 are now friends.. and i don’t mean friends with benefit or anything in that line… Lol..
#Voices4Health

If bad luck chooses you as a companion
even a ripe banana can remove your tooth…..

Adventures of naughtymilz

So one of my 2016 resolutions was to try and travel more, appreciate nature and life generally.. You see visiting new places has a way of challenging your dreams and ambitions because after a certain level of exposure, you know better than to settle for less. Allow me first correct a common misconception, people often associate traveling with wealth/luxury but it’s important to travel when you are still young and able, don’t worry about the money, just make it work.. It’s basically all about planning because experience is far more valuable than money will ever be. So on Saturday, 23rd January 2016 (with my serious hangover), i set out to the land Tooro, Fort Portal. I had always heard alot about the only town with an English name in Uganda but i had stopped at seeing it on the map. The district btw is called Kabarole, it’s the town that is called Fort Portal.

I fell asleep behind my shades as soon as we set off and only awakened in Bundibujjo, place was hilly unlike the flatlands back home(Tororo). So turns out i missed spectacular views and their “namawojjolo”… But it was all good, better things lay ahead.. So we passed mpanga market and all and soon we were at Mountains of the moon hotel where we were to reside..

While in Fort, i noticed that it is a very well planned town, most, if not all the streets and roads have names(balya road, ruhadiki street, rukiidi street, babiha road, magambo road).. The town is filled with commercial buildings such as various banks, restaurants, supermarkets and there are numerous hotels ( Hotel Africana, Fort Motel, Hotel Conerstone, Kalya Courts Hotel, Koi koi Cultural Village Hotel).The prices of their meals are above average too in comparison to kampala. I think their target market is tourists and it’s no secret that people think foreign tourists are not monetarily incapacitated..

They say a picture is worth a thousand words so i will go ahead and give you 4000 words.. Pictures of fort portal but mostly of Ndali lodge. One of the beautiful sites i managed to visit during my brief stay there..

image

image

image

image

“We  travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us.” -Anonymous

Self imprisonment

I had an intriguing chat with a new friend recently about social media and all. He was telling me how a friend of his is trapped in her online persona.. That because her social media pages give an impression of her being social, daring, adventurous and generally wild(for lack of a better word), people expect her to match up to that personality when they eventually meet her and yet that is not who she is.. Apparently she is really calm, humble, reserved and an introvert.. And so many a time she finds it difficult to deliver or meet people’s expectations physically.. That it’s like there are 2 very different people.. 

image

But you see much as it appealed to my sense of sympathy I knew better than to be fooled.. I like to think one’s social media pages are just an extension of who they are as a person.. Let’s look at it this way, everyone has alter egos that they reveal when they see fit.. I was telling him that you can never know someone 100% so you have to brace yourself for surprises every now and then.. people only show you the “side” of them that they want you to know.. Or the side they think appeals to you most… Don’t you see how after a while in marriage, a man could become violent or a drunk and the woman could swear she didn’t see that coming even after a long courtship… It can also be likened to the different relationships one could have with their employer, sibling, friends, spouse.. The same person but different in a way.. As an employee you have to show your bosses how time conscious, responsible, reliable and smart you are, because that is what they expect of you..yet with your boys, the more ratchet you are, the more points you’ll probably get.. And then with your girlfriend you try to be all sensitive and gentle.. But at the end of the day, you are still the same person.. It’s like a mind game of sorts.. People sell to you the sides of them that you are most likely to “buy”..

So back to social media, If you struggle to match up to your online persona it simply means you aren’t being yourself or atleast you aren’t proud of who you really are behind closed doors.. It’s like you create a sort of jail for yourself and people don’t get to see you for who you really are.. So just drop the act and embrace your true self because at the end of the day those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter anyway…

“Don’t surrender your individuality, which is your greatest agent of power, to the customs and conventionalities that have got their life from the great mass….
Do you want to be a power in the word?
Then be yourself ” ~ (Ralph Waldo Trine)

My Sunday

If I didn’t write anything about my Sunday I would be cheating myself..and also, a friend once confronted me how I attend events and I don’t write a thing, that I just post on IG and I don’t even mention the event anywhere so am changing that.. I had a pretty awesome Sunday yesterday. Woke up at 6:30am, took a shower, breakfast and headed for the 8:00am service at my church. (watoto church central). The worship was mind-blowing as always.. you know what I mean… It’s watoto.. sermon was refreshing too.. It was about one of those concepts you apply in your daily life, relationships in general, main verse being James 1:19 (being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger). Pastor also made a recap from the previous Sunday how relationships need commitment to thrive and commitment is a choice, it’s based on love and the promise of a reward there after.  Generally it was a message I needed to hear because am not good at keeping in touch with people myself.

Then I headed back home.. Cooked lunch.. Watched 2 episodes of scandal.. I can’t get enough of Olivia Pope though i deeply admire Mellie Grant in a way too.. I had my lunch and then started looking for what to wear for the markitah5Aside… To be honest I tried about 6 outfits…. Yeah… you gat that right.. (we really do take that long to get ready) and also, this weather is unpredictable.. It was sunny and all but it wasn’t fooling anybody.. Atleast not me.. I knew it would switch up on me later.. Was still trying to pick out my shoes when my ride to markitah5Aside arrived so I had to make a rush decision there..

Brought a friend along with me this time.. When we arrived she couldn’t believe this was the shyt I used to hype for so much.. There were 2 tents with few people.. Good thing the music was on point, there was pork, sausage and we had our own alcohol.. yeah.. We passed by nakumatt bukoto on our way. I told her not to be fooled.. it was all about the company here.. So we took our seats and started on that optical nutrition jazz. Players with their small shorts and all.. (thanks markitah for that small present). My friend is a newbie on twirra so I was showing her who is who on tl and her responses didn’t shock me much..she just kept saying “are you sure?”, “that’s not the picture I had in my mind”, “are you for real”, “whaatttt!!!!”, “nooo wayyy”, “Omg!” and I just kept smiling and telling her “you’re welcome” and “you will be fine”….

image

We activated selfie mode and started taking endless pics and selfies.. Photo credit to Kinene and Josh up there.. Not that we were trying to win the selfie markitah5Aside challenge or anything like that…lol..
The highlight of my day though was when Timothy of the catalans team scored and we won our game against fc Santos.. yeah.. I said “we”. Am a Catalan.. #twookya #WeAreCatalans and you know that makes my newbie friend(s) Catalans too by default…yeah.

Then after our game we were all in a good mood.. We were eating pork and drinking as a team and stuff when the rains came down heavily upon us.. Guess it was all in celebration of the catalans win… But anyway.. that didn’t stop the fun.. Atleast not in our tent.. Am afraid I can’t say the same for “the other tent” Wink*.. One of the mcs was big Flo, (Makyeme Florence) an old friend and one of the finalists of capital fm’s next top presenter competition and also 5m jackpot (you can vote for her by liking her picture on the capital fm social media pages or sending big Flo to 7197). Then when the rain subsided, Soccer Mania and FC Anchors played.. And exciting activities followed like musical chairs, arm wrestling, ludo, cards and beer pong.. It was just awesome.. Connecting and meeting new people

image

There was even shisha and all… I noticed with great concern that this game had the fewest number of people though especially girls.. I wonder why… Guess “cheerleaders” of various teams ain’t loyal but who cares..I had an amazing time and a lovely Sunday generally.. Till next time, I remain, @naughtymilz 🙂

After a while

after a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love does not mean leaning and company does not mean security…
you learn that kisses and presents are not contracts but rather moments to be cherished…
And you learn that sometimes you need to accept defeat with your head held high and your eyes wide open… with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child….
you learn that even sunshine burns when you get too much of it..
and you learn that you really can endure and that you are much stronger than you actually think..
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of sitting around and waiting for someone to bring you flowers….

Stop already

Today am giving some “tough love” to my male readers… Don’t mind the English though.. Am going informal today.. So here it is… They say if you can make her laugh then you already have 50% of her attention because the  truth is that those small pleasures of life are everything, priceless.. So let’s talk about the other 50%.. Have you ever witnessed a queer habit in a guy that makes your attraction to him drop faster than CGPAs irrespective of his looks/ wallet.. Let me let you in on some of these awkward habits because someone needs to tell y’all and the girl most certainly won’t tell you….

▶Guys that put on (t)shirts live without vests or sweatshirts.. Like really nigga… Who you tryna show your lil nipples son..

▶those guys that happily carry ladies’ bags for them under the pretext of “helping them”.. Are you kidding me?! That shyt is just not right.. There is a reason why they are designed and called ladies’ hand bags..

▶Then talk about the guys that are overly friendly especially to “the girl’s” friends.. Throwing around dem careless compliments like “those jeans really bring out your ass”.. I understand that naturally some guys are social but please know where to draw your boundaries. Don’t be tryna impress everyone at the expense of “the girl”.. Unless you just have ulterior motives of course..

▶Then there are guys who just don’t care about colognes, deodorants… Not that they smell badly or anything like that but still, it would be nice to smell good.. That shyt counts ALOT! When you hug a guy with a nice scent, you practically have to fight the urge to keep clinging onto him..

▶I can’t forget to talk about the guys that dress lousy.. Like they just don’t give a damn with dem African Sandles.. All that is fine until you tryna impress a girl. It’s good to be neat and smart.. Makes you appear like you have your shyt all together and that is attractive af plus it’s embarrassing to walk with a guy in lousy clothes.. Why do you think some girls won’t meet you out in public?…

▶ And then there are the stingy guys.. I understand not buying stuff for the girl’s friends but when it comes to her, spoil her abit.. Money come and goes.. It’s meant to be spent. And don’t wait for her to ask you for something.. THINK! Read between the lines.. After all, you  could get hit by a track anytime with all that money and I ain’t no magician or anything but I bet there ain’t no shops 6ft down..

▶Then guys and “the boys”.. I get that whole unity/ brotherhood thing but don’t over do it.. After all.. You can’t cuddle with your boys:):) don’t go putting dem boys before your girl. No one likes to compete for attention..

▶Then confidence.. Nothing disturbs a lady’s mind like a timid guy.. Like wa’sup nigga.. if you can’t even feel yourself how do you expect anyone else to feel you.. Just imagine you are a brand and you need to market you, it’s like tryna convince someone to buy a product that is not you don’t even use yourself because deep down you know it’s not good enough.. The sexiest thing about someone remains their confidence.. Don’t over do it though😐

I like to help when I can.. If you find yourself in any of the above vices you NEED to get back to the drawing board and make some corrections, regroup then see the way forward.. And btw don’t be fooled into thinking am speaking for myself only because trust me after 6years in a girls’ school, majority of my friends are girls and this is the usual talk… Always.. Till next time, I remain @naughtymilz

There is a war and then there is a battle

To be honest I don’t understand married people of today but am going to focus on the women specifically because I can relate most to that… When young ladies are in courtship, they always make sure everything about them is very admirable (on point👌). From her dress code, to her hair, to her nails not forgetting the very likeable character that draws people to her hence enabling her have many suitors. It’s like we are in a war of sorts with so many competitors and  are determined to win the jackpot at all costs. It’s therefore not surprising at all that most of them get “wifed” quite fast..

Then comes marriage (the jackpot/🏆) and all its overwhelming challenges and along the way, somehow somewhere we just give up on appearance and character and focus more on our careers, raising the children only and perhaps basically running the home. It’s not fair for to become a “stranger” to your spouse..

image

Abandoning completely all effort to look good.. Going months without doing your hair, gaining weight endlessly with no intention at all of losing it, manicure and pedicure being done once in a blue moon, dressing 20years your senior nowonder the guys always appear much younger to the point that many times people could even mistake their wives to be their elder sister or even mother.. And after a while he realises that the qualities that initially attracted him to you, unfortunately you nolonger possess… And the character too he fell in love with has been smoothered by work, your children and other social concerns leaving you hollow… We forget that jumping the broom symbolises the beginning of a “battle”.. A battle to look twice as good because while pre-marriage you wouldn’t mind him leaving because I mean… You have many suitors.. Now you are tied down and you have to bring your “it game” to keep things going.

I know that life surely can’t remain the same because marriage comes with  responsibility and maturity but I think it’s very important to keep things spiced and original (like in the Cosby show).. Not to forget the small things because it’s details that count..the situation can be likened to someone taking days to read about various gadgets and finally making their pick only to reach home and discover the device is barely what it’s meant to be.. Yet “goods once sold are not returnable”…if you can’t look after your appearance for your own good, do it for your spouse who has to put up with you all their lives… Stay as close as possible to the “original” copy of you…